The Scotsman and his egg

The Scotsman and his egg

There was once a Scotsman and an Englishman who lived next door to
each other. The Scotsman owned a hen and each morning would look
in his garden and pick up one of his hen's eggs for breakfast.

One day he looked into his garden and saw that the hen had laid an
egg in the Englishman's garden. He was about to go next door when
he saw the Englishman pick up the egg. The Scotsman ran up to the
Englishman and told him that the egg belonged to him because he
owned the hen.  The Englishman disagreed because the egg was
laid on his property.

They argued for a while until finally the Scotsman said, "In my family
we normally solve disputes by the following actions: I kick you in the
balls and time how long it takes you to get back up, then you kick me
in the balls and time how long it takes for me to get up, whoever gets
up quicker wins the egg."

The Englishman agreed to this and so the Scotsman found his
heaviest pair of boots and put them on, he took a few steps back, then
ran toward the Englishman and kicked as hard as he could in the balls.
The Englishman fell to the floor clutching his nuts howling in agony for
30 minutes.

Eventually the Englishman stood up and said, "Now it's my turn to
kick you." The Scotsman said, "Keep the fucking egg."